Its actually quite easy in life to make it very hard or even tough without much notice or at least some notice that you sometimes fail to recognize immediately or at once.Without any doubt, life will be have its tough times, its just how it is. But how do we respond to that situation? That seems to be the important and hard part. Yes surely we all could cry and whine like pathetic people but if you have to…. just do it, I do it all the time, alone… in my room. Some cry on others shoulders for comfort.What we want in life or expect aren’t owed to us from birth, there are choices we decide to make to determine what we do. Those choices could violate the entire circle of family, or alienate certain people we love and care about, but regardless those choices are always there and are in need to be made now and not the next day.

You need to know that you are your own person. I have strong belief and faith in any other person with a dream that they can get what they want out of life…. actually cross that out. I don’t believe in dreams anymore. Its plans that will motivate you more to get to your goals.

Having faith in others is a good thing but more importantly you need to have complete faith in who you are and where you are going. I would make an ugly you and you would make an ugly me.You probably don’t fit in my shoes anyways and vise versa. The only person you can be is none other than the person starring in the mirror waiting for some sort of self realization.

It gets to that point when you feel so bad about your own life, that you grow tired to the point of even sick of it everyday. One day you just get really pissed off sometimes more than pissed off. You look at that bad and you forgive yourself for it until you get really frustrated. So frustrated to actually change it. Any being can say that they ain’t afraid to die but the truth is he or she is more afraid to live.

Just because I don’t go to church anymore doesn’t mean I don’t believe in God. His strength is shown all the more profoundly when we are at our weakest. His power is not most clearly seen during doctrine performances, visionary miracles, eloquent speeches or powerful people. We witness his presence when we are tired, sick, emotional, distressed and at our lowest points, when we don’t know how we’re going to keep going through life and its hard times yet we somehow continue to hang on, that’s how I know something or someone powerful spiritually is watching over me. God.

In love, life throws you sacrifices and shows itself in risk taking. Preparation to say the most hard and difficult things to another individual. It’s a crazy thought yet sobering that we love one another in a way that tends to never rock the boat yet allows us enough to disturb eachother and unsettle one another and confront each other. Sometimes that’s what it takes to make someone the best person they can be for themselves or for one another.

I tend to push people away when nothing seems to go right. I silence everything and shut out the most important people. Its not my intention to turn the other cheek. It’s what I was used to. In all honesty, I just want someone to be there whether or not I am looking or asking for it. Just knowing I have someone patient enough to stick around all my insane spasms and mood swings and is willing to do anything (without asking) with no hesitation to make sure i end the day happy means everything to me.

Anyways, I had a really rough day couple of days. And now I am just rambling. Blogging or writing helps me release all my of my minds clutter. Well… I shall end this here. Tomorrow is a new day.

With Love,

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