So, its Mental Health Awareness Week. This is not easy to share. I have kept a lot of emotions and feelings to myself for most of my life. Speaking out loud has always been very difficult for me. I’ve managed to always smile and laugh even though deep down, inside and behind closed doors I wanted to explode. I was a ticking time bomb. This year, I went into a really dark place for the first time ever. I started to hate myself, hate the people around me, I was irritated at absorbing everyones problems forgetting that I too, needed help. I cringed at the topic of Mental Illness and depression but only because I did not want to conclude that I, myself was going through all the motions. As I’m typing this, sad tears are rolling down my cheeks but Im smiling at the same time. Maybe Im a little crazy. I got to the point that I wanted to end my life and was extremely close to doing so. It was about 2am maybe 3am on a night in July or maybe August when I was losing my mind when I realized I was not okay after repeatedly saying I was okay. If not for one of my cousins being online on fb, I would not know what would have happened to me. Thank you @mzanhpham for being the first to hear me and all of me and not to judge me. For making me feel important and realizing how valuable my life and my worth is. Thank you for being the first to reach out to me without even me having to say anything and thank goodness you were awake. Thank you also to @lookitsren @ryeziel @k8t3 @tired_mommy @j_estalkyo for taking the time to show me love and let me vent as well. I am forever grateful for you all. Mental illness is real. Depression and Anxiety are real. My advise, communicate even when it is uncomfortable or uneasy. One of the best ways to heal is simply getting everything out and know that it is okay not to be okay. I not saying Im good now, its a journey that I am taking one day at a time. #mentalhealthawarness

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